OK so Hyuna and Hyunseung–excuse me, JS–collaboration “Troublemaker” has been quite the controversial topic lately in the online K-pop community (like pretty much anything else Hyuna has ever done). So of course I’m going to talk about it here.
JOON: “For the last time, I’m not dressed as a bathroom rug. I’m supposed to be a yeti. A very attractive yeti.”
MIR: “You’re not smizing, Joon. SMIZE. And hurry up, I’m late for a polo match.”
THUNDER: “I’m wearing a suit onesie. A fucking tweed suit onesie. Fuck my life.”
SEUNGHO: “Oh wow, I’m actually the most normally dressed person here.”
G.O: “Just wait, Seungho. Next time, they’re going to stick you in a ladies’ blouse and a duster with a skirt. You just wait.”
Yes, you read right. Before I continue allow me to make one thing abundantly clear: I love U-KISS. I love them more than is probably healthy. I love the Neverland album so much I fuck it. And I ain’t hearing your old-as-dirt jokes about “flop”-dom and “relevancy.” To me, arguing one K-pop band’s “relevancy” over another in terms of international fandom is like nerds fighting to the death over Star Trek vs. Star Wars. To anyone outside the Internet, you all wear fake vulcan ears and still play with action figures, yo.
All y'all Amurricans ain't ready for this
There is really no other explanation I can find for the catastrophe that is Heart2heart’s “Facebook Official.” For those who don’t know, Heart2heart are a fledgling boy band mentored by Lance Bass, who may be jockeying against Misha Collins for Biggest Troll of His Own Fandom. In which case, bravo, Lance. Bravo. Heart2heart have debuted to such a deafening buzz that they have resorted to tagging their videos with popular K-pop groups such as Big Bang, SNSD, and Super Junior to gain attention. Somehow B1A4 found their way into the tags as well. Congrats, B1A4. You know you’ve arrived when attention hungry nugu boy bands stick your name in their youtube tags.
It seems that Heart2heart are attempting to court the K-pop audience by ripping off incorporating a lot of k-pop-esque elements into their video. And while there is that adage “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery” i’m not sure how flattering it is to associate k-pop with this clusterfuck. To quote Beyonce, “this is a disastuh.”
Scans and article translations courtesy of http://bosung.tumblr.com/
OK, you know I’ve got mad love for Teen Top. No, really. Stop looking at me like that. “No More Perfume On You” has been my jam lately. Mostly because I didn’t know what the words meant. Thanks to Simon and Martina, however, I realize now what a hot mess that whole concept is and I must join them in asking, “WTF is their management thinking?” I might be a creeper but come on, people. This is some Mary Kay Laterneau shit up in here.
YUNHO: Dude, check out my new look. It’s like, Billy Ray Cyrus meets Foghorn Leghorn. Badass, right? I call it chic-ken. Like “chic” + “chicken.” Get it?
MAX: Dude, maybe it’s time to lay off the soju.
YUNHO: You’re one to talk. Where did you get those janky clip-ons from, my old Barbies?
MAX: …
YUNHO: I meant my sister’s old Barbies.
MAX: Sure you did, Yunho. Sure you did.
Greetings, friends and Korean pop music (k-pop) lovers and drive-by snarkers. You might know me from my teen movie/TV/lit blog, The Unicorner. Here I will continue to do what I do best–provide my unsolicited and completely unbiased commentary and hope it brings some lulz. Any and all feedback is welcome, unless you are a jerk, in which case I suggest you direct your energies into a more useful pastime such as needlepoint or crocheting toilet roll covers. Or you could just leave your comment anyway. It might be amusing. But probably not. We’ll see.
Now sit back, relax, grab yourself a bubble tea or some kimchi and enjoy your stay!
And no, this is not my gif. Credit goes to whomever I ganked it from.
